Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine’s Day Baby!
It’s kind of a dumb holiday, made up by a corporation to make money, but at least it’s kind of about love and hearts, and if nothing else, the color pink, which is usually good.  Plus its February and most of us are kind of grouchy because its still cold outside and we’re sick of it.  But all that is beside the point.
I just want to tell you that I can already tell I’m going to think you’re the most amazing person since Jesus and Danny Prescott.  (yeah, it's weird putting someone next to Jesus, but those just happen to be my other two favorites, so i'm keeping that sentence).  I can already tell I’m biased and don’t care.  And in a lot of ways I have no idea how amazing you are.  That’s the crazy thing.  I aint seen nothing yet.  So you should know you are always loved.  And not even just by me.  That’s the more crazy part.  There’s at least 50 people out here waving at my stomach ready to throw you a welcome party.  Grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles, cousins even strangers smile at the bump you’re making on my belly.  I’ll try to make them stay in a somewhat orderly line when you come out so you’re not overwhelmed.  But I might be pretty tired at that point so I can’t guarantee.  You know who else loves you? Someone/thing bigger than any of us put together.   When I was worried because the dr. couldn’t find you in the very first ultra sound, or when it seemed to take years to find your heart beat with that Doppler thingy, or when in the middle of the night I’d have these crazy fears attacking me, I just think about how much God loves you and claims you already and feel peace. 
The other important thing I want to tell you is that this world can be kind of icky.  Icky in all kinds of ways.  One of the icky things it does is try to force you to be ‘normal’.  I want you to always know that I’m going to fight my own habit of placing expectations on you the way the world does.  Expecting you to be a certain way because you’re (probably) a female for example.  As much as I am relieved when your ultra sounds come back ‘normal’ and our blood tests come back ‘normal’, I hope you can find the strength and resilience enough to be as weird as you were born to be.  Be yourself, love others and try to break the mold. I think by forcing yourself to not conform whenever you can will really help the world, take some of this ickiness out.  So I’m going to try to help support you when you do.  I am not going to judge you if you don’t want to wear dresses, or if you never want to get married, if you want to fall in love with someone of the same sex.   (If you end up voting for people like Santorum though, I’m going to spank you.  Or make fun of you.  It’s a parenting technique I learned from one of your amazing Grandmas that unfortunately is no longer here with us in this world to make fun of all of us.  Well, maybe she's making fun of us in spirit-- I like to this so.) So no matter who you want to give a Valentine’s Day card to in the years ahead, as long as they respect and treat you as wonderful as you deserve, I support it. 
For now, though, you have just two Valentines- mommy and daddy. Happy V day little one!

1 comment:

  1. Erica, thank you for making me cry with this post.